Dispatch from the Front Lines by Bryn Pottie

Dispatch from the Front Lines

by Bryn Pottie

March The 20th, 2020

Dearest Sarah,

Even in these times of trial, I have no misgivings about or lack of confidence in the noble cause in which I am engaged, as a Tim Horton’s Drive-Thru attendant. After all, I am but the latest in a proud lineage of drive-thru men. My father served McDonald’s pizza to our returning Kosovo veterans, and his father bravely broke gender barriers as the first male roller-skating hamburger stand waitress.

My devotion to providing affordable coffee and okay sandwiches to motorists is second only to my yearning for your tender breast. Lest my hockey stick with the debit machine taped to it fail, and I catch COVID from a drive-thru customer, I feel compelled to write a few lines that may pass under your loving eyes. My passion for you burns hotter than the fieriest double double, and my visions of your soft face and flaxen hair are sweeter than the all-new Dream Donut.

Ere as I sanitized my bagel station, the memory of all the blissful moments I’ve shared with you came crowding over me. Our fortuitous match on Tinder, the concupiscent afternoon we spent on your Animal Crossing island, and the memes we have shared about the folly of the so-called King Of The Tigers.

While our physical paths have not yet crossed, and we have yet to even Zoom, O Sarah, I pray that when the crisis has passed, that I may return from my post to our hypothetical home and watch our as yet imaginary sons grow into honourable manhood.

Until then, so long as my mortal coil does draw breath, I shall always blow up your DMs. Always. Always. When the Coronavirus spreads to my thumbs, with their last gasp they shall text your name. Should I then roam this earth as an apparition, the soft summer wind on your cheek shall be my breath and your phone’s very camera shall be my eyes.

I must cut this short, my dearest Sarah, for I fear that Barb will get on my ass about my 10 minute break stretching into 15. But know that my love for you is real, and not simply the delusions of a man who has not had a non-customer service-based interaction with a human for months.

I love you.

Elijah Hunt Rhodes,

Tim Horton’s Drive Thru,

New Minas Division

TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM SARAH:

“lol k”